OUR LADY'S WEDDING WITH ST JOSEPH

Day 256: January 23

The Marriage of the Virgin Mary with St Joseph

St Luke informs us that the Virgin Mary, at the time of the appearance of the Archangel Gabriel for the great Annunciation of the Incarnation of the Word, was already betrothed to Joseph.

We may ask: When did the engagement take place? According to the Jewish custom of the time, young people married at the age of 18, while girls did not marry before 12. It is likely that Mary's marriage took place when she was 14-18 years old.

Why did the Virgin agree to get married? It is to be believed that she would have gladly done without it, but marriage was the common custom among the Israelites, and if she had not followed this custom, she would have been regarded by all as a wretch, a strange being, and for years would have been harassed by marriage petitions.

We must also believe that she had the assurance that, even united in marriage, she could continue to observe the vow of virginity and that St Joseph willingly consented to Mary's request to live as brother and sister.

Divine Providence thus gave Mary the possibility of remaining a virgin and at the same time of enjoying the material help and affection of a man of proven virtue and full of love of God.

If Mary had not married, there was also the danger that Christ would be considered illegitimate, born not of the lineage of David but of some unknown sinner. The marriage was still convenient to keep hidden from the devil the divine conception of the Virgin, considered by him an ordinary woman and not the Mother of God. Finally, it should be noted that Mary, if she had not married, once she became a mother would have been considered an adulteress and condemned to stoning. She, for her part, always cultivated the feeling of unreserved abandonment to the will of God and, for this reason, when she was pregnant, she explained nothing to her husband, leaving Divine Providence to think of smoothing out the delicate situation.

The darkness that envelops the Lord's works and way of proceeding usually offends the susceptibility of indocile and proud minds, but it did not disturb Mary's profound humility and heroic faith.

In the divine plans, Joseph, in addition to being the guardian of Mary's modesty, was also to be the authoritative witness of her virginal birth. While in ordinary marriage care is taken to bring children into the world through the conjugal union, in that of Mary and Joseph care was taken to safeguard each other's chastity and to help each other in the fulfillment of the designs of Divine Providence.

How did Mary's marriage to Joseph come about?

We can answer that it was according to the Jewish customs of the time. Jewish marriage embraced two distinct phases: the betrothal and the marriage proper, that is, the introduction of the bride into the groom's house. Usually it was the parents or those who took their place who chose a groom or bride for their children. And if sometimes it was the young man who chose his partner, the request was presented by his parents to the father of the chosen girl. Subsequently, the young man's relatives and the young woman's father fixed the mohar, i.e. the dowry of the bride and groom. The mohar of poor girls usually consisted of household items and articles of clothing. The usufruct of the dowry was due to the groom.

Once the mohar was established, the girl's consent was asked and, having obtained it, a written contract was stipulated. The rite of engagement followed. The families of the engaged couple would gather together with some witnesses, and the young man would give the girl a gold ring (or some other valuable object), saying: "Behold, for this ring you have been promised to me, according to the law of Moses and of Israel." And there was a feast.

We note that among the ancient Hebrews betrothal was a real marriage contract, and we can compare it to the ratified and unconsummated marriage of Christians. This is confirmed by the fact that the unfaithful fiancée by virtue of the Mosaic law was stoned to death and to send her back, as for wives, a libellus of repudiation.

Between the first phase of marriage (engagement) and the second (introduction of the bride into her husband's house) it was customary to allow a year to pass for virgins (and at least a month for widows). The interval was established to give the young woman sufficient time to prepare the trousseau and the groom time to finish paying the mohar and preparing the necessary for the great wedding dinner.

We do not know the details that led to the meeting and then to the marriage of Mary with Joseph. The evangelist Matthew merely tells us that Joseph was of David's lineage and that his father's name was Jacob. He also defines him as just, that is, pious, honest, hardworking, a man after God's heart. Tradition agrees that Joseph was a carpenter.

Interesting details about the marriage of the Blessed Virgin are contained in the revelations of Blessed Anna Caterina Emmerich. According to this German seer, Joseph's parents owned a large house in Bethlehem, where the patriarch spent his childhood with five brothers. Because Joseph was pious, simple, and mild-tempered, the brothers harassed and sometimes mistreated him. Joseph did not react, but preferred to look for another place where he could abandon himself to prayer. When he reached the age of 12, he began to frequent the workshop of a carpenter and learned the trade, but since his brothers continued to make life unbearable for him, Joseph left Bethlehem and lived by his work with other artisans. At the age of about 30 he was working in Tiberias for another master, but he lived alone in a small house nearby. In the meantime, his parents had died and his siblings had dispersed.

For some time the holy young man not only believed in the coming of the Messiah, but prayed to God to send him to earth. One day, while he was busy arranging an oratory near his house in order to have a reserved place to gather in prayer, an angel appeared to him and commanded him to go to the Temple of Jerusalem to become the husband of a girl kept there. Before this message, Joseph had never thought about marriage and therefore avoided the company of women.

At that time the Blessed Virgin was 14 years old and still lived in the precincts of the Temple. Her mother Anna went to visit her and told her that she had to leave that place to get married. The deeply moved girl declared to her mother that she had totally consecrated herself to God, but Anna insisted that she accept a husband. Then the Virgin recollected herself in fervent prayer and soon a divine voice comforted her and suggested that she accept what was proposed to her.

For the occasion, the priests placed twigs on the altar of the Holy of Holies, each of which belonged to young men wishing to get engaged and belonging to the house of King David. Among the twigs there was also Joseph's rod. The twig that had bloomed spontaneously would have indicated the young man, designated by the Lord as Mary's husband. It came to pass that only Joseph's rod produced a white flower like a lily. It was therefore evident that God destined him to be Mary's husband. The Virgin's wedding took place, in the manner already mentioned, in Jerusalem in a house located near Mount Zion. On that solemn occasion Mary wore the dress of the great feasts.

"The Virgin's hair was abundant and of a golden blond. She had brown eyelashes, large bright eyes, a well-shaped nose, a noble and graceful mouth, and a fine chin. He wore a beautiful robe; his gait was dignified."

After the engagement, Joseph went to Bethlehem for family reasons, then moved to Nazareth. In this town St Anne owned a house and prepared it for Mary and Joseph. It was located where the Basilica of the Annunciation currently stands and, according to Emmerich, it is precisely the one that is venerated in Loreto, transported there by the Angels.

According to tradition, Joseph had, or bought for the marriage, a small house not far from Mary's. There, on his return from Bethlehem, he established his carpenter's shop.

St Justin Russolillo Writes...

"We unite ourselves, O Blessed Mother, to the favor and love of the Divine Son for you. We salute you for all eternity on behalf of and in the name of the Second Divine Person: "Full of Grace! He, the Lord, is with you.""

(Justin Russolillo, Spirit of Prayer, trans. Louis Caputo, Vocationist Fathers, Newark, 1996, p. 154)